Uncle Rusty's

I’ve been writing comments to companies for 35 years. Sometimes I have serious comments about products or services but most often I feel the need to write to them something inane. I’m most satisfied by my efforts when my comments are funny, and the company doesn’t get the joke.

Of course, Bev thinks I am Laszlo Toth, the Don Novello alter ego that writes some of the funniest letters to people and companies I have ever seen. Not having read his books until recently, I had no idea he has been writing and publishing them since 1977. I'm a cheap but earnest copy, I guess.

Sometimes when I don’t get a response, I like to belabor the point. Here’s an example. A few years ago, when we started get a tad more attuned to race, stereotypes and correcting images that may be considered racist (which is perfectly legitimate, folks – none of us wants to be on the wrong side of the caricature), I heard that Uncle Ben’s was going to make a change. I offered my help to Mars Corp, owner of the Uncle Ben’s brand.

Folks,

I'm not sure if the picture or context of Uncle Ben is racist or not. I've always considered him just the guy with the rice I really enjoy. That said, I don’t know everything so if it is offensive and it needs to be replaced, I truly understand. In its place, please consider me, Uncle Rusty. I have a pleasant demeanor, a friendly face, a decent voice, and I really do love your rice. I have attached two pictures. I'm the guy on the far left in Lederhosen in the first picture. In the second, please imagine instead of "tacos" my shirt says, "Say Yes to Uncle Rusty’s!" I'm digging that and think others will too.

Please feel free to reach out to me anytime.

Uncle Rusty

Since they didn’t respond to me, I figured either they thought I was a nut (that’s a win!) or they simply couldn't envision my likeness on the box. Obviously, they needed more assistance. I started sending pictures of what the boxes would look like with me gracing the photo slot. I made it even more fun by making sure each subsequent picture submitted was less “delightful” than the previous one.

Without even a “get lost” or “hey, yeah, thanks for the suggestion,” I can only conclude that corporate America is too big for the little ideas from Uncle Rusty. Where I can though, I will still try to be “helpful.” 😉